I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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