i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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