I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am naked and annoyed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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