I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
