My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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