So drunk, too bad you don't want this
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
