It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
