well most of my day revolves around power hour
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
