my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So here I am, sexting at work.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
