dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
