I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
