Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Tell him ill love him long time

(1-773): View more from Illinois

I'll assure him of it

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(954): View more from Florida

I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.

Fav 32 1924 5768
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(330): View more from Ohio

Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

Fav 68 6773 1887
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(740): View more from Ohio

well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.

Fav 12 4859 1147
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(317): View more from Indiana

She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while

Fav 21 5601 1246
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(210): View more from Texas

Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.

Fav 14 3121 1097
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(317): View more from Indiana

Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

Fav 23 5129 1210
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(843): View more from South Carolina

So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff

Fav 6 1274 585
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(504): View more from Louisiana

We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex

Fav 0 38 19
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