Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
