cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
