There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
a search helicopter?!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
