He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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