Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
