i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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