my phone needs a breathalizer
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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