He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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