i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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