TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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