Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
