There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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