I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
