im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
