but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think my vagina is haunted
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
