i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
