I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
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Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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