Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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