well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
