My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize