Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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