Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize