Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
