I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
