woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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