Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
