im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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