i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
