My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
