I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
