I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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