Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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