Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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