He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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