I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
