You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
