brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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