im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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