im drinking this country out of the recession.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
