im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
