White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize