Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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