Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
