New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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