my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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