forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize