sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
