If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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