i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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