Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
