Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
