well I can't set my house on fire every night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
